Sacred to Death, but I gotta do something new!

The company I work for was bought recently....

The new company made us a deal, stay with them a few months and if we didn't like it we would be eligible for a one time separation payment based on what our severance from the old company would have been or stay with them an entire year and get a big retention bonus.

My separation payment is about $32 thousand dollars
My retention payment would be about $43 thousand dollars

But be staying with them I am losing about $1000 a month paying for my families insurance... so it's kind of a wash (The old company was actually one of those incredible employers who paid my entire families medical insurance cost, the new company only pays for  me and the difference is actually $1000 a month).

The thing is, I had to decide this week whether to stay or walk away, but I won't get the money from the separation until July 11th.

Well, I gave my notice. Tomorrow is the last day to retract it and I'm scared...

But I gotta change. I gotta have faith in the universe.

I want to get out of the oil field. I want to get out of West Texas. I really want to move to St. Louis. Real Estate prices are crazy here.... I might be able to sell my place, pay off the mortgage (and an FHA lien) and get into a place on the outskirts of the city with cash. My credit is horrible, so that's my only real hope.

I'm in love with a place I have never been. My family deserves better then here.

I wan't a normal job. I want to get up on stage again. I want my children to grow up in a place where they could do anything and where they can be anyone.

But I'm scared

This is my inspiration - Get Up by Shinedown 

It all has to go right from here!

Midlife "Reboot"

I wrote the first entry in this blog way back in 2017. Talk about a false start. Back then I refereed to what I was going through as a Midlife Crisis, now I prefer the term Midlife Reboot.

I honestly thought I'd very recently coined the term "Midlife Reboot" to describe what I'm going through. Turns out I didn't. Apparently it's a thing. That's okay, it perfectly describes what I am going through at this time in my life.

I'm looking to take my family and restart somewhere new and doing something new, but I don't know what. Ideally I'd be an actor, but I don't know if I could make a living getting middle aged funny fat guy parts. All I really know for sure is I'm tired of working 80+ hours a week, which I have done for going on 14+ years now.

"Cartoon voices... that's a thought. Love to find a way to do that."

I want to move. I want to get away from this hell hole that is west Texas and working in the west Texas oil field. It sucks. It sucked when I was in the field, it sucked when I drove trucks and it sucks even now that I'm in the office. It pays well though. I don't think I care about that last part anymore though.

What good is paying well when everything is way to expensive.

"DJ... I'd make a good DJ. I have a great voice for radio."

"Writer? Maybe a writer of some kind?"

I'm thing is... I want to make less money. I want to enjoy my life more. Things have got to change. Right now I think I could sell my house, pay off that mortgage and find something I can be outright. Far from west Texas.

I'm looking at someplace with culture, art, amusement parks, food, sports, better schools for my kids, more romance for my wife and I. Somewhere like the countryside outside of St Louis.

No idea what I'll do, but I can't stay here much longer. It'd make a great reality TV show.