Time to stop believing in myself and get back to work.

In my last blog post, which was way too long ago, basically, all I did was bitch. This blog is more of a pity party, and I'm sorry for that. 

Good thing no one reads it anyway...

But in spite of all that, this last year... the pandemic year still feels like one of the best years of my life.

How in the Hell can that be?

First, thankfully, no one in my family has died from CoVid. My stepdad got it, but he beat it (wear a mask, they work). Secondly, I got to see history being made as Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were elected as president and vice president. I am a liberal and I couldn't be prouder to see the first black female vice president in our history. It's an amazing thing for my daughters and my family to see. I think she and Joe can do amazing things.

But, I have been unemployed since March and I never stopped looking... so how could it be a good year?

I got to spend time with my family and I got to be creative. I found out who I am and who they are, and I love them. I love our animals and our life. have dogs, cats, chickens, potbellied pigs, and a rehab bird. We have a blind rooster I have to pick up and take to his food every day. We have a special life and even when it is rough I wouldn't trade it for anything, ever.

Safe In Austin, an Animal Rescue took 10 baby piglets our potbellied pigs had (they made sure they will always be safe, not food). We were extremely grateful for that. We were able to get several of the feral cats on our property fixed, and I am grateful to Fix West Texas for that (but now they can't take the county voucher, so it was good while it lasted). I'd love to become an animal rescue myself (we have several unused acres) but have no idea how and getting help is expensive.

I opened several online stores and while they might never be a success, I got to design shirts and websites. I got to write. I got to flex my creativity in ways that I haven't been able to in years. I was art student of the year twice in high school, and after school, I never used it again. The stores may have barely broken even, but at least I got to be creative this year. 

I'm proud that I have stood up for my beliefs in creating these stores.

• In addition to making funny and meaningful items, I am proud that I have stood for LGBT rights and humanism in my WildjourneyShirts Etsy Store.
• I have stood up for Democrats and Human Rights (including BLM and LGBT rights) in my LiberalbyDesign Etsy store.
• I stood for a belief that we can support Good Cops and Black Lives in my Find The Good - Do Both Store (even though it hasn't made a sale - and Google rejected it and won't tell me why)

I made really great designs for state pride/travel type shirts at my PlacesWeLove store on Etsy. 

I opened a CBD website and it felt good thinking I might be able to help people. Then I found out how hard and expensive it is to advertise.... but it was a good feeling for a while.

I got to argue politics and religion (I'm an atheist) online in my blogs and on Twitter and Facebook and usually did it without vitriol and without hatred for the other side (I never once went to Facebook jail). Although I will admit to being snarky and sarcastic I also know I brought actual checkable facts to every argument. I even joined the NAACP this year, because I do believe Black Lives Matter.

My wife and I got to be in a movie. Me as an actor and her as an extra. It is a low budget Horror movie but I got to do two things I have always wanted to do in my life - Act and Entertain People. It was incredible. I met some of the best people in the world. The movie is called Country Club, the trailer should be ready in February or March (I'll share it if I'm allowed).  Join the Facebook group for the movie by clicking here. I even got my own IMDB page Buddy Fazzio, but I can't afford to edit it...I was asked back if we get to shoot a sequel though.

After the movie I felt so creative... and that was good for a while. I started writing a little more. I almost got an article picked up by Huff Post. They still have it, so maybe someday they will run it. 

And I've written half of a script. It's a horror movie also, but definitely not low budget. But I am afraid I'll never finish it now.

I also just started to try and become a Twitch streamer. I was so excited to try it, and enjoyed the two times I did it. But it takes time and perseverance and it has been made clear to me that I'll never have that time. If only I had started it months ago maybe I could make it work. But, I was scared, it had been so long since I tried to be a performer and entertaining that I had given up, and now that I found the will and desire I have no time to try.

I also have an idea I think could change the world, save energy and maybe even make us all a little healthier, and I have no way to do anything with it and I am pretty sure I never will. I have lots of other ideas also, maybe I can put them in my will. (honestly, I bet there are a lot of people who have world-changing ideas and never get to see them realized)

I little braver and I could have been a PT Barnum, Mark Twain, or even an older fat George Clooney (I don't know why I picked Clooney, he is just someone I find immensely amazingly talented).

I little more focused and I could have been an Elon Musk or a Mark Cuban,

Imagine being a 53-year-old fat guy with missing teeth and getting to dream again for a little while.

I'm just a truck driver and an oil field worker.

Tomorrow I go back to driving a truck. 12-hour shifts. No real life. 

Time to stop believing in myself and get back to work.

So wow.... It's been a while. Life since Corona

 I haven't touched this blog since July 2019.  I'll try and do better. 

A lot has happened to me and the world. 

Coronavirus will hit 250,000 deaths tomorrow or Sunday, Texas will top over 20K during this tie. We will be second only behind New York.

I'm not trying to be political when I say wear a damn mask. I'm my mind the video below absolutely shows that masks work. It is also extremely entertaining. Actually, in Midland, we won't have much of a choice soon. Our mayor is passing a mandate (FINALLY!), businesses will be fined if they let people come in maskless. 

As for me... my stores failed. But I am trying again. I don't want to give up on what I think I was meant to do. I love designing shirts. I love trying to run a business. But, you really do need money for advertising and I just don't have it. I also took a plunge and started an online CBD store called NaturalGreenSolutionsCBD only to find out almost no one allows CBD advertising yet. 

My other current stores are my T-shirt shops

WildjourneyShirts - Funny shirts, LGBT pride, Inspirational and Humanist/Athiest items

Places We Love - States and places we love like Colorado, Texas, Michigan, Georgia, and more

Liberal By Design - Liberal ideals and causes

Find The Good - Support Black Lives and Good Cops at the same time!

I have also been looking for a job. I was laid off last March and even though I am a CDL driver with a clean record I haven't found anything decent. 

I am sure others are suffering more. One of the smartest things I did was get on Obamacare. I don't care what they tell you about it, it is amazing. If you need insurance go to Healthcare.Gov, open enrollment is now (Ends Dec 15th). Don't use an agent, don't use anyone who charges you (I believe a lot of people have gotten taken advantage of by resellers and that's why the ACA is so maligned). After-Tax credits my insurance is free. I saved $1000 last week on prescriptions. I have a silver BCBS plan through the exchange. Don't listen to nay-sayers, find out yourself. I wrote a whole blog about it on my Angry Liberal Blog here.

We are months behind on the mortgage. We really want nothing more than to sell this place and get out of Texas, but we can't afford to fix it up and make it sellable. We may have a mold problem that is affecting our health, but we don't even know how to find out.  Our 5 acres should go for about $350000 in Midland TX, but we'd be lucky to get $250K as it is. So I keep hoping my businesses will do something. Take off a little bit. But regardless we still consider ourselves very lucky. So far the only one who has had CoVid is my stepdad, and his was rough, but he got through it. We do our part, wear our masks and social distance, but Texas is simply full of science and virus deniers (even though we are having the most deaths in the country right now), which is another reason we wish we could get out of here. The other reason is I have LGBT kids, and Texas isn't the right place for them (I want my kids to know I love and accept them as they are, which is one of the reasons WildJourneyShirts is so supportive of the LGBT community).

Life has been rough, but others have it a whole lot worse than we do. I have the love and support of my family. I'll try and update more often, but if I don't have a Merry and safe Christmas. 

What I learned about PRIDE month and LGBTQ acceptance

My store, the Eclectic Wombat has an LGBTQ Pride section because frankly, I believe in the right of everyone to love who they want too. I thought we had started to move past the point in society where this was a really controversial way of thinking. I was wrong.

 Proud to Be The Rainbow Sheep Of The Family - Pride Shirt

When I decided to advertise the PRIDE section of my store I seriously underestimated the amount of hate I would receive from it. I am getting a small taste of what my LGBTQ Friends receive from narrow-minded jackasses who just can't let people be people. The worst part is I've gotten way more hate than sales. But, that's okay, if anything it has shown me why the LGBTQ community needs and deserves this month. It has shown me just how far we still need to come so that everyone on this planet feels valued and important to society. I don't know if my store will survive, but whether it does or not I will always fight for the rights of everyone, and for everyone to be able to love who they want. As long as this store is open it will have a Pride section. For my very good friends, for my children's future, and because it is the right thing to do. So tired of hate.

Love Is Love T-shirt

My designs are not offensive or sexually blatant, but I still got responses calling me sick or quoting bible verses. If anyone does this to you ask them to show you where Jesus (not Moses, not Paul) and only Jesus said anything about gay people. They can't because he didn't.

If God Hates Gays Why Did He Make Us So Cute - T-Shirt

And it wasn't just narrow-minded people. Facebook rejected my ads as being political. I had to go through this entire process to try to get approved to run so-called political ads and I failed. I had to contact a third party (and pay extra) to run my ads. What is political, what is controversial about who people love? Done ranting. 

Love Yourself and Love Who You Want!

Actually, I guess this one is a little suggestive

I Licked It Now It's Mine - Crop Top

#Pride #Pride Month #LGBTQPride #LoveYourself #LoveWhoYouWant

Starting to get discouraged - but pushing through....

Man, it would be awesome if I looked back on this blog in the future and thought, man that was a rough time, but it was worth it. But, I'm starting to get discouraged.

I have three weeks left in the oil field. Then this chapter is over I hope... but I might have to take a job doing something oil field related. I hope not... it would be a step back.

I've had my store open for a few weeks. Trying to drive traffic is crazy hard. My friends could help, but so far I can't get anyone to share it. That's all they have to do and it's like pulling teeth. They are all ready to argue politics or correct a mistake in a damn Facebook post, but I can't even get my best friends to share my store or my products.

Easiest way in the universe to boost my traffic, they won't help. I even asked straight out.

Thing is, the shirts are extremely high quality. Really nice. And I think my ideas are excellent.

This is a sublimation dye shirt

Came out just awesome

When music hits you, you feel no pain shirt

Great gift for musicians - at least I think so.

I've tried Facebook ads and Etsy promotions... but they aren't working. Of course with a budget of $3 a day... it's not looking good. I even got a domain name, but Etsy runs it as a redirect... so that's kind of a waste.

About to be broke and jobless. At least for a couple of months until the big severance check comes in.

I'd hoped to get the house up for sale sooner rather than later, but I can't do that until I fix it up a bit. At least not if I want to get enough to get out of this place.

Not giving up yet. Still hopeful it will come around and thinking about trying to do Tech work. Virus removal, speed up peoples PCs, home networking whatever. Trying to build a Shopify store and hoping it will be better then Etsy.

I have to get out of here. I have to get my family out of this place. Not about to give up, but I sure am getting discouraged. We are going to find a way to change our lives.

New Blog just for Musical Inspiration and Motivation

I've always been inspired by Music. I love songs from every genre and in fact the movie and the soundtrack from The Greatest Showman has been a large inspiration to me lately.

It has made me feel like I can literally do anything. I can change my stars and the stars of my children. I'm going to find a way to make their lives extraordinary.

To keep me motivated I've started a daily blog with new inspirational music everyday. It's called Inspired Music Madness. I think it's awesome and I hope you will too. I plan to post any music I find uplifting, inspirational and/or motivational.

Linkin Park, The Black Eyed Peas, Journey, The Script... even oldies like the theme song to the Legend of Billy Jack will be listed their. I'm even trying to make my own radio station to go with it... still learning that one though. For now, here's some inspiration for this page. If I had one blog worth subscribing to, that one might be it.

For now, here's some music for inspiration here:

Pat Benetar - We Belong

Because we do belong, all of us.

Inspired Music Madness